It sounds like you have misophonia. I wonder, are there treatment options for people who are extra sensitive to fragrances? Dude knew he shouldnt smoke and tried to quit repeatedly, and it is not like he didnt take steps to try to mitigate, but having a coworker complain repeatedly about him was mean. For instance, I dont notice the smell of coal tar shampoo because I grew up in a household where both parents used it, but Ive heard people complain about the smell. I love scented candles and I burn them regularly at home. Yeah, youre not alone in wondering this. Shame and guilt. My reaction is Hold on. and honestly, even when people wear deodorant and shower daily, theyre going to have a smell. I like the idea to get a blunt friend to do the sniff test, but basically I think the ideas about limiting physical contact are the best way to go at this point; Im a little afraid of sending the OP down a rabbit hole of onerous scent minimization that may not solve the problem. People who dont like indie-type perfumes often just categorize them all as patchouli as a catch-all for hippie smells. I HATE floral scents in virtually all forms, but I dont have severe allergies nor do I get migraines. Ive heard the term thrown out as an insult, similar to using the terms granola or crunchy. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Never in my life did I think I'd see Gordon Ramsay quoted positively in an etiquette forum, but there it is, and he did well. I am not moving again. Most people are more than willing to do reasonable things for their coworkers comfort, but it sounds like the OPs coworker is the type thats totally unreasonable. I definitely see making a reasonable effort to make sure you are not having a negative impact on the people in your work space. Misophonia is a neurophysiological disorder in which sufferers face an aversive reaction to otherwise normal sounds and (visual) stimuli. Re: Constant phlegm / snorting problem - please help. For instance, I became a super-smeller when I was pregnant, and lots of things suddenly started to smell vile to me. As someone who works in construction and is used to being around a bunch of sweaty smelly coworkers, I find myself wondering the following and hope someone can help me out: At what point is asking someone to be accommodating too much? When youre a non smoker, its bad. One of the things that sets me off at first is if I can taste the scent, that chemical taste in the back of my throat is an instant major asthma attack. I think the your fist, my nose boundary ends with how close you have to be to smell it and/or normal use. Also changing all your hygiene products is actually pretty freaking arduous for a lot of people. It is very distinct to those of us with sensitivities. But it sounds like a cant win for losing situation :(. OK, thats fine and I can handle that. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. *grin*. But Im not going to stop wearing it on weekends and Im not going to stop burning incense in my home. It provides non-invasive noise and pleasurable feelings, to effectively neutralise the unconscious attention system's ability to distract us. Still cant eat red velvet after a stomach bug. I guess my point is if coworker is smelling something and attributing it to the OP because of past issues, something needs to be done to determine what the source of something is, and I know blindfolds are a weird thing, but it might actually worth it to float as a trial balloon that Look youre smelling something, we agree you are, youre not crazy, but we DONT agree on what something is. assigning women extra work to help them, calling out when youre in the ER, and more. Try using earplugs. At this point, the issue is that she has a coworker whos being rude and snarky to her, not that she should just stop using bubble bath on weekends or so forth. My female coworker puts on a lot of perfume. The advice is spot on. Yeah not really. Blah, blah, blah. I would go to HR myself and complain that I am being harassed by a co-worker who in spite of your having ended wearing the perfume that bothered her is waging a campaign of harassment against you. :) I think the last candle I had was a Douglas fir tree-scented candle that I got in December because my cats wont let me get a real Christmas tree. If thats the case, theres nothing LW can do. To this day, 20+ years later, the smell of chocolate (especially warmed, as in fresh-baked cookies) makes me queasy. Anyway, I could definitely see it clinging to clothes from air fresheners/oils or any unwashed items and handbags. I am completely sympathetic to people who are sensitive to fragrance but short of ceasing to exist there was nothing else I could have done. I had a coworker who happened to have her desk right below one of the (old) building's AC vents, and she would sniffle / cough at least several times every single hour. Hopefully your boss can accommodate and move her, or you? I think the OP has already gone above and beyond, but it wouldnt be a bad idea to dot the remaining is and cross the remaining ts (air fresheners at home, in public restrooms, or in the car, dryer sheets, etc. And theres a limit to how much Im willing to let work infringe on my ability to surround myself with a pleasant environment in my off-hours, in the way that I define a pleasant environment, which for me is strongly scent-based. Side note: Ive worked in scent free environments before and even they didnt go so far as to dictate that you use unscented laundering products and not have any scents in your home that could travel to work with you. Theyre going to keep pushing and pushing until either they 100% get their way, or the person accommodating them says no, Ive done enough for you, thats all your getting., For the record, I love the phrase go pound sand. Febreeze offers a scent-free allergen reducer version of the spray, which might be helpful if the OPs coworker actually still has a sensitivity and isnt just being rude. Does anyone have answer. There is something wrong with this. Im not sure the OP really can win with this co-worker. I remember a long time ago they had some kids so sensitive they lived in air filtered bubble rooms and literally couldnt leave them. And certain West African men wear cologne. There might be something in the building that nobody is aware of. In this particular case, I think the OP has done enough and its time to bring the boss in to either shut down the rudeness or find the coworker a new place to sit. Im all for reasonable accommodations but they do need to be reasonable. Agreed. Many workplaces provide handbooks to their employees that outline policies and rules. Why is your nose constantly running? Maybe, but one of the complications would be figuring out the nature of the sensitivity.. I lost a week of my life once because my husband used one of their plug ins. And it smelled basically like light body sweat. Its entirely possible that your chair or coat have absorbed the smell, and you might not even recognize it. Humidifier helped me, enormously with my constant sniffling!!! However, shes still having this sensitivity. I also switch my perfume up pretty often, so its not like I have one scent that Im repeating every day. I would personally want to douse myself every time I came into the office if I worked with this person. if there was someone I work with who had a scent sensitivity, Id be sensitive to that. I switched to those and the complaints continued. We embarked on a months-long quest to find soaps and laundry soap that he liked and that I could tolerate, but you know hes my significant other! I'm a 54 yr old female. I dont necessarily think anyone should totally change the soap they use because as someone who is dramatically allergic/sensitive to smells, I really dont think commercial soaps smell THAT strongly. For me, my comments were about where the smell could still be coming from, since OP seems baffled that they could be smelling like anything after all theyve done to eliminate smells from their person. I think the people talking about scent associations are right on the money. 47 1 Sponsored by Karma Shopping LTD When he started doing it I did ask him to go and blow his nose and he said why . He doesnt wear cologne, and keeps up his hygiene (and doesnt use mothballs). Urp. There are other avenues to explore (rearranging desks/offices, getting a fan, etc.) Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. patchouli is hard to remove. I really wish that my coworker would get sent home too. Its easy to say to OP to be bold and confront her directly but if youre like me and just dont have that type of personality, sometimes other solutions can be helpful. If I were in this spot, I swear at this point I would assume shes only doing this to bother me. I was thinking something similar it could be an issue developing with the coworker that they dont even realize is happening yet. You might need to use something like baking soda, vinegar, or some kind of detergent thats made for battling strong smells to fully neutralize any lasting scents on your clothing. I dont think your co-worker is being very kind and you have gone out of your way to accommodate her, but it is possible that a patchouli scent (no offense, but I hate that smell so much I wont even walk into a store where I can smell it) is lingering in your clothes? It got escalated to HR and we were asked to be mindful of this persons needs. Its not like we banned cilantro-flavored food. His family would get so angry about it when he was younger. Reacting to a difficult coworker in a harsh or otherwise unprofessional way won't make the situation any better . For what its worth I associate these kind of scents/oils with white-hippies so I read this this as the LW being white and the co-worker being if an unknown race at this point. Even on the beach, swimming, walking etc. And there can be a lot of cultural baggage around scent. Ask them not to wear perfume to work? Im sure she encounters scents she doesnt care for every day that she has no control over and she just deals with it. Still I'm on the fence as to what is more annoying - blowing the snot or sucking the snot. I would not send her to HR, they are likely to be the dingbats that will turn it back on you. But not all allergies are as obvious as hay fever. I dont think its reasonable to expect people to completely change their entire lifestyle around outside of work, just to accommodate someone at work. The friend I was travelling with very kindly loaned me a clean T-short and knickers, which did not end well. Sadly, lots of people fall for this. Confront Another Employee Who Is Bad-Mouthing Me. Or, if OP isnt the type to be cold at work, perhaps a fan set on low that could blow the scented air away from the coworker? On the other hand theres a series of scents lemon, lemongrass, patchouli, amber, deep vanillas, musks, that are a holdover from the old hippie scents phase from Coty and Loves and Avon. And I can completely relate to her rudeness. It's a little passive aggressive but can't hurt. As I see it, LW is the victim of a bully at this point. It took me like two years and several hundred dollars worth of products before I found something that worked for my hair and they will pry my weirdly pineapple-scented hair gel from my cold, dead hands. Just make sure over time they don't start pulling to those spots! Cmon, guys. I think OPs complainer is being kind of a jerk. I was thinking that too. If its at the point where its only popping up twice over a few months, and your coworker is upset that you keep bringing it up because she feels shes addressed it, it seems like your coworker has done what she can and it would be a good idea not to bring it up with her anymore. Im actually surprised to see the majority of the comments focusing on try X, when it seems pretty clear that the coworker has become the problem, regardless of what smells may or may not be lingering on the OP or her belongings. But the world is literally full of smells. Do you wear those oils outside of work? Although her coworker would probably be like your smock smells bad., I, for one, welcome my new sterilization chamber overlords. But definitely talk to your manager about moving spaces. I went through a brief patchouli phase in my late teens. Had it one day. I usually immediately stop using those, but sometimes enough of the oil has ended up on my armrests where the scent keeps ending up on my arms and clothes for awhile afterwards. Or maybe the scents linger in a vehicle that then gets stuck on you, so to speak, or on an office chair? When everything is researched and it ends up being something other than you, shell have to quit harassing you. Do you burn anything that smells like it, like incense, when youre home? I only tried it in my hair once years ago, though. It's a personal issue and you won't like it but it needs addressing and I don't want you to react badly OK? I worked with someone at OldJob who LOVED Avon products, nearly all of which set off symptoms. .true story, I made my partner change laundry detergents after wed been together a few months. And if it works properly your nose is one of the most sensitive sense organs you have. I literally invited HR to do spot checks of my cubicle to find the phantom spray. I mean I get the idea but thats a heck of a food to ruin. My coworker was just a bully. I recommend using those products only with direction from your doctor., Nasal obstruction. Makes weird noises. Reader asks how to solve a nearby co-worker's sniffling problem Perspective by Judith Martin , Nicholas Martin and Jacobina Martin February 5, 2022 at 12:00 a.m. EST Article Dear Miss Manners: I. I was more sympathetic because my brother used to smoke and I remembered what a raging jerk he became when he was quitting (which he eventually did, as did my friend). Sometimes I notice smells will stick around for a few days, even after I have showered. Its not reasonable to demand every employee live a completely scent free life. That's the end of it? In this role, you will work closely with your team, other managers and team leads within the AM organization and cross functionality with Sales, Marketing & Product to expand and retain customers and provide . I think you do need to use the word harassment because even though not under the legal definition it is still harassment.
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coworker constantly sniffing