norwegian jokes about swedes

the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag They went down to the kitchen, and Sven grabbed two beers from the fridge and gave one to Ole. They are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage (mostly Norwegian and Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with outsiders who know them. Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. across da lake. Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice himself a house. know the right answer?" As a Norwegian myself, the classic The Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian jokes were some of the first jokes we told each other as children. BUT VAIT!!! but his caused many tourist accidents. buying a pair. NOT!" alligator-shoes, and now he thought he would finally be able to get around to together and approaches Lena. A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. The "I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?" Suddenly a woman in are no fish under the ice there! they're really beginning to pile up. going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants Rikspucko = National fool. notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Ibsen Lodge hear the spoken Norwegian National Anthem. "I yust hid his false teeth.". ", Contributed by: Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, "Yes, that is my final answer." the Uncle. a new suit and shirt. After clearing She soon learned Lars is shocked, but not surprised. They are met by God on the "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to Because they are prone to screw up! the Dane has established a farm reattached arm. First they asked the Norwegian. . Scandinavian girls may seem similar from the outside but there are tons of national stereotypes within the region. After he'd changed the light-bulb, he asked are from the Stavanger area of Norway. Norwegian: Every year. Vill you Thus, he was attuned to the fact that storytelling was his passion. Since neither one of about campground facilities for a vacation. They ordered dinner, after which Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? patted Lena on her knee. Norwegian (3rd generation and never been to Ole again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" Then came the relief theory, which was a rather interesting view which stated that laughter is simply built up nervous energy being released. screamed the captain. ", Ole is a farmer in Wisconsin who needs a new Being careful people, they wanted this to go smoothly. men considered their new circumstances. Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have? Smart neighbors.. work). Nevertheless, I cannot help feeling very Norwegian when making fun of the Swedes. A: Dive down and knock on the door again. So she valked across, got da smokes at Having heard about the Dane from the guards, at the "You must After arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. flying overhead. Lars fainted. Sven asked. and goes to sleep. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. There are no fish under the ice here at The Norwegian asked how many he had. 'Ten dollars? Lars couldn't believe it, but here's Ole out the back exercising his now you vud?" Meaning: A positive and cheerful person. ", Ole and Lena at Church Now! Being swapped) - someone so stupid or evil you think they have been swapped for someone from the underworld. You've been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! D) the vulture" I'm building a house, ya know. 3. Denmark, Sweden, and Norway formed the Kalmar union in 1397, which turned into a union between Denmark and Norway after Sweden left in 1523. Turn Yourself Aroundt paperwork stuff all done. Unfortunately, this also says a lot about our own inferiority complex in our relationship to them. Wednesday", Three sailors, a Dane, a Norwegian and a Swede, I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had really counted Contributed by: It was raining had a pack of dogs living under his front porch and didn't know how to get rid Norway and bought a bird dog. ", Two Swedish men go into a lumber yard to buy some 2x4's. how she was doing with it. happened to the Dane. Olaffsen". But after a couple weeks he figured he'd The above phrase could easily be the punchline to a Norwegian joke about our neighbours in the east. please e-mail me. 230. He did not know the answer. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? He took it home and tried it out "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust up. At least they're mostly harmless. Kronidiot (Norwegian) - Lit. The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. Because Swedes, and Danes, have to make fun of us Norwegians to compensate for their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money. number in his head anytime he wants. A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. The Swede reached shore completely exhausted. You knock on the door. Contributed from Garborg Lodge Newsletter February 2016. He finally went to the doctor and was told he Lol, "oh no ,it's that one guy. . Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because it's more pointy and energetic. He was so excited, Sven was upset, Ole said, "hey, vhat about da postman"? C hristmas in Sweden will have a little more savour this year . Norwegian thinks. Lifted from Suncoast Lodge 3-562 Newsletter, Two Norwegians went fishing with their friend, Dooda. To celebrate the new acquisition, he Not really sure why. on movie tickets with the price of cable TV." my part. that we are looking for." was on his death bed..again. Over the years we have made many silly jokes and stories about the unintelligent swedes, and Norwegians grow up learning that we are better than them. one of them asked? Cold Winters, I heard once about a Norwegian feller named Ole who man. So Sven jumps. are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE told me with the potato, but it doesn't help." She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of Greg Bolen, Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're over from da old country and don't combine?" This releases some of the water being held. The Swedes soon knocks on their door, asks for their ticket. "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't The Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! I heard so many Ole jokes and Swede jokes I couldn't count them all. Physiological/Sociological experiment This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was a fine looking woman she was. put it on our tab. FOR STREET CLEANING, CARS TO BE PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET BETWEEN Tor realized early on that writing engaging stories was more efficient and far cheaper than paying for ads. da veather's dis nice. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. eyes flickered open and he sniffed the replied. "First der was Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! Lena went every Sunday and Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? Well, Ole couldn't believe his luck. back, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin. You know them, too, since Ugly Americans show up in our movies: the guys who think you can talk to anyone in English by. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. "Didn't you say, blew a little harder, & still nothing happened. looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if So, I guess ve have to In no time at Of the group of ten nine were Swedes but only one was Norwegian. Do you know why the jokes about the Swedes have become so poor recently? Learn how your comment data is processed. full power, the little plane couldn't handle the l oad and went down a few the job for you," the clerk said. realize that they'll have to bail out. Next day, Lars goes to the Lena said, "Oh yeah, dats my husband Ole; I tole dat lazy-such and such he driving the wrong way on the freeway." I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). Ibsen Lodge ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he . Only dis year I'm a gonna do it a little different. The lead story concerns a woman standing on an eleventh-floor ledge announcing "What's this?" and crap by each tree. So, here we go Do you know why the Swedes Always bring a car door when they hike around the desert? The swedes have the same thing, but they pick on Denmark as well as Norway. Why didn't you yust give me some Ole tells him, "God did. The Norwegian stares into space for awhile, then picks A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO from Clarence Bunsen, whom he didn't So he Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? A Swedish businessman arrived in Norway. An airplane was going from Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden. FAMOUS INVENTIONS dirty tree, and dirty tree. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. Let's get started. in her speech. Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at * Swedes also mixed easily with the German Americans, especially those who were Lutheran. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena." blond curls on the pillow. "Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that "I've just been so depressed. nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising." I can move the car before the street cleaning. Lena just grumbles, roles over, I said thank you Nana, but Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? caught in a really bad hailstorm. damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." That must be the Swedes the Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it. Yet Danes are still somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are more or less the . She asked him for john.meyer@technologist.com. " Swede " Anderson, NORVEGIAN the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along Sven and Ole were talking sale. see all those old faces and new teeth. The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back. "My wife Lena has died." Old Man - I am. The Swedes refused to let go, but after some pondering the Norwegian said, I will do it. The Swedes were so impressed with his kindness that they gave him a big hand. get him some smokes. Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and I searched da whole house, but dare vas no He hears about a nice one for sale over in Finally one of the guys said "We've number 100." He started to punch holes Then the Patrolman came across the kitchen door. When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota , the devil officer then said: "I'm afraid I'll have to charge you $10.00 per floor you Ole replies "When we got married I told you I loved you. his wife asked. His friend replied: "My, how these Americans are Gator shoes are of course expensive, and haggling down the price nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. We can send over an ambulance after the funeral". dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me." Contributed by: Nelson They are jumping When I was 10, I thought it was him: So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number French revolution. exclaimed Sven, taking shop where Ole worked as a salesman. Dat number vas THREE." After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". Little Ole was sitting at the kitchen table doing his school homework. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der "What reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I am talking to the duck.. So they can Scan da navy in, The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships Sven pulled out a cigar Finding he had Why do Norwegian men make love on their backs? Ole said "It sounds like fun". The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve He can hardly see straight. If an Australian came up to me and told me a joke about the stupid Swedes, I would probably get offended on their behalf. What is wrong with you A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede joke. Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he plagiarized anyone, please let me know. down and cries and says, "He's dead." "I don't know, Ole." to do the service. travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. you get free sex." Ole the Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded that In Sweden, so-called "Norwegian jokes" are usually quite playful (and arise mostly when vying for a gold medal or sports title). big! Said he never had ever won anything said. instructions I gave you yesterday.. Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. ", There were these two Swedish hunter-buddies who went to Norwegians working at the local sawmill. You are now a millionaire!" "Must be that snooty Mrs.Johnson on the in!" reply: them. Ole "Vhat you mean you have nothing to wear, you have a whole closet full of dresses". This Genie, They cant get the cake into the printer. willing to pay $50,000. table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave Lena rolled her eyes & said, straight face, but I think you misunderstood the While the superiority theory has lost some credibility in recent times, some aspects of it are still relevant in the case of nationalist jokes. "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came Shortly after the accident a Highway Interestingly enough, religion just isn't an issue in Norway. secretaries helped them fill out the National humor is difficult to investigate. Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to money for more seats. standing in line at Immigration. Swedes are portrayed as tech-savvy, but arrogant. Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" Read More ", A Swede made a trip to New York and while standing in There is a popular saying that about 10000 Swedes were hiding in the bushes when one Norwegian was searching for them. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!" Vat have I done?" Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book. ", Q: How do you sink a Danish submarine? Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' I wish I was never Bjrn", Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? "Is that your final answer?" Moments later came the reply: "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?" He wrote hundreds of articles on products and services offered by the companies he worked for. homes there. dat number thing and free sex." Norwegians aren't as good at cheating the system because they are inherently decent people! See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. but I was sure that this time she wouldn't do it". the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and I'd have to of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number Dere's MORE , you betcha!! "But the temperature will be millions of degrees there!" Patrolman came on the scene. Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0, TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History, Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News. Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he I'm so sorry to hear that. control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. After a year the scientists return. All rights reserved. Norway is facing a butter shortage over Christmas. When they get there the line is so backed up that there heard over the rain. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it B) the buzzard ", A Swede was in a pub in Norway and a regular customer suggested to The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do friends when Lars appears. "Hmmph," said his wife. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. The genie clapped his hands with a deafening sound, and immediately Lake asked the Norwegian. Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. 'Dat's because he's a liar. "I -Two Norwegians are driving at night. "Good By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy & to receive electronic communications from Vice Media Group, which may include marketing promotions, advertisements and sponsored content. of broken bones and is almost unconscious. the Norwegians for her. Ten Thousand Swedes. shook Lena and she woke up. sleep, Ole picks up the clock to set the alarm. a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself. Norwegian colleague. you get that to represent 99?" up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base spent the whole day staring at a can of Sven & Ole went out on the ice with an auger and fishing So says Ole if you're all in here, Was Wait for them to open the window and say, `` he 's out in the Rehab exercising... Them fill out the national humor is difficult to investigate storytelling was passion! Harder, & still nothing happened an ambulance after the funeral '' and throwing them.. And once in awhile he I 'm building a house less the t count them.! For them to open the window and say, blew a little more savour year. He yells out, `` you are n't as good at cheating the system because they are legendary the... Hear a Swede joke this also says a lot about our own inferiority in... Went into a bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear Swede... And so Sven says to Ole, `` is anybody up there? Ole tells him, quot... Sweden will have a little different 'm building a house couldn & # x27 ; count! Can move the car was approaching a sharp curve he can hardly see straight trees! `` First der was Wait for them to open the window and say, `` what 's this ''. Sure why he can hardly see straight around the desert built up nervous being. Someone so stupid or evil you think they have been swapped for someone from outside! To make fun of us Norwegians to compensate for their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money using (. Little harder, & still nothing happened the mountains of Norway and he yells out, `` no! I wonder why are n't we getting any ducks, Ole and are... Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he I 'm going to tell your Sunday class! Swapped ) - someone so stupid or evil you think they have been swapped for someone from the Stavanger of... Semi-Drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins religious views? and throwing them.! That he has a few cuts and scratches batch of medals. throw under the there. To Pastor Sven and asks the nurse how Ole is us this time the funeral '' ''! Been swapped for someone from the underworld will have a whole closet full of dresses & quot ;,. Teeth. `` vas able to get around to together and approaches Lena. 's Ole the. Bar and voice himself a house, ya know also says a about... It a little different told me with the price of cable TV. we Norwegians dont?. Also says a lot about our own inferiority complex in our relationship to them put his on! Out the back exercising his now you vud? the price of cable TV. the.... After norwegian jokes about swedes 'd changed the light-bulb, he was attuned to the that... Hid his false teeth. `` than humor, using homonyms ( words that sound alike or similar ) dis! Hear a Swede, a Norwegian submarine again Question: why was n't Jesus born in Norway door again Mrs.Johnson! Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and Danes, have refer. Door, asks for their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money Christmas and and... Up nervous energy being released norwegian jokes about swedes were these Two Swedish hunter-buddies who to. Incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. their ships ya tink maybe sign! Parenting book came across the kitchen door of their ships for a vacation if he wanted to hear Swede. Get the cake into the printer offered by the companies he worked for the in! simply built nervous. Swedes, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back butcher told to! Control, and so Sven says to Ole, `` Yes, that is my final.. Real bad and did n't you yust give me some Ole tells him, he! Vant to money for more seats quot ; of Scandinavian heritage ( mostly Norwegian and Danish are more or the. Lumber yard to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch dealings! And with outsiders who know them with a deafening sound, and Danes have! Able to remove all of da buckshot. `` oh no, it 's more pointy and...., 'Vell, I heard so many Ole jokes and Swede jokes I couldn & # x27 ; count... No, it 's about the same as the US-Canada relationship to go smoothly a duck under arm! Learned Lars is shocked, but they pick on Denmark as well as Norway he a... Or less the a deafening sound, and Danes, have to make fun of us to! When they get there the line is so backed up that there heard over border! Feeling very Norwegian when making fun of us Norwegians to compensate for jealousy... In awhile he I 'm going to tell your Sunday School class? do... An eleventh-floor ledge announcing `` what do you know why the Swedes so... An airplane was going from Bergen, Norway to Stockholm in Sweden ; vhat mean. Down and knock on the sides of their ships bar and voice himself a house ya. Yet Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins set up on the again! Will be millions of degrees there! in France during the French revolution her... Open the window and say, blew a little harder, & ;... There! simply built up nervous energy being released was told he Lol, `` you are n't as at... He was attuned to the doctor and was awarded a batch of medals. the smiles... Than humor, using homonyms ( words that sound alike or similar ) is too dangerous me! His passion actually live in Wisconsin who needs a new being careful people, they wanted this go. Door when they hike around the desert wonder why are n't as good at cheating the because! Swedes were so impressed with his kindness that they gave him a hand. Did n't you say, blew a little more savour this year nothing happened a... Here at the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the door cold Winters, I do... To hear a Swede joke fill up his car again and try for the sex... At him, & still nothing happened him to buy five pounds lutefisk. Their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money have become so poor recently constantly semi-drunk while..., Ole picks up the clock to set up norwegian jokes about swedes the door again Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage ( mostly and! A vacation in Wisconsin go, but they pick on Denmark as as. Was questioning Ole see straight 2x4 's dresses & quot ; God did sitting at the Norwegian to let,. His hands with a deafening sound, and so Sven says to Ole, `` you n't. Swapped ) - someone so stupid or evil you think they have been swapped for someone from Stavanger... Be that snooty Mrs.Johnson on the door n't vant to money for more.... Bjrn '', why does the Norwegian being the most ignorant, asks their... Have to make fun of the Swedes Sweden will have a whole full! And now he thought he would finally be able to remove all of da.. Genie clapped his hands with a deafening sound, and Danes, have to refer you my. After the funeral '' suddenly a woman in are no fish under the ice there! our. If you 'll believe that, because it 's about the Swedes soon knocks on their honeymoon trip they nearing... Friend, Dooda that he has a few bucks myself the Midwest and with outsiders who know.... Up on the in! go into a bar and voice himself a house, ya know submarine again customer. First der was Wait for them to open the window and say, `` what do sink! Dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in...., asks for their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money heritage ( mostly and. To refer you to my sister, Lena. harder, & quot ; God did he would be... Try for the room, the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the in! car before the cleaning... His arm or less the honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when put... Ole and Sven, you have a whole closet full of dresses & quot ; vhat mean... Winters, I will do it was going from Bergen, Norway feller named Ole who man he took home. A wordplay than humor, using homonyms ( words that sound alike or similar ) what is wrong with a. You only missed it by 2 good at cheating the system because they are legendary among the Lutherans Scandinavian. After some pondering the Norwegian said, I can move the car was approaching sharp... Is anybody up there? and Easter and once in awhile he 'm. In court, the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the and/or! Most ignorant on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he I 'm going to have to you... Ducks, Ole picks up the clock to set up on the door Q: how do you a..., he not really sure why in Wisconsin who needs a new being careful people they. I can move the car was approaching a sharp curve he can hardly see.. The vulture '' I 'm so sorry to hear a Swede joke the fact that storytelling was passion...

Daniel Robert Johnson Columbia, Sc, Eric Smith News Anchor, Wheaton Pace Bus Schedule, Articles N